Plan B is the new Plan A
i think my mom watched the whole time
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
