i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I wish life had little blips of pornography
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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