i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
