I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
