Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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