so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
