Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
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This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
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Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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