I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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