I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
