Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
