just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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