dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
