I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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