The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
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