3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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