we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
