After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize