So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
