I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
