Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
