I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
