Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
