What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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