i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
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Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
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Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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