Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
