So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
