that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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