She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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