Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize