and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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