She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
