:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
