I puked a lego.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
tell me about the eggs
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