The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
