remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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