I'm gonna have a badass scar
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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