Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
