I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
