I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
