She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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