...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
why do cheetos always look like penises
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
