My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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