At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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