Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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