whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
