before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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