I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You are a genius and a whore.
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