Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
