yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
