Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i barfeds in our rink
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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