Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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