i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
