I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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