Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
So many bounce houses so little time
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize