Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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