Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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