I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
