Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I wear drunk well.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
