I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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