he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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