I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I have post one night stand depression
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