I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
