Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Randomize
