You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
