Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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