Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
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