I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
