So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
