My first STD was from a foam party
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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